Moments of clarity do not happen often to me. I’m a generally self-reflective person, but often it will take perhaps a small comment from someone or a chance encounter to really gauge where I am up to in life and take stock of how far I have come.
The first passing comment was while having lunch with a very good friend of mine, when we were discussing my ex he casually mentioned ‘Yeah, but you’re over him now.’ At which point I suddenly realised that that comment didn’t hurt or solicit a negative reaction. He was right, those painful memories remain (they probably always will), but they no longer loom over my concious like they would have done six months ago. My ex was also my first, for everything, so you can imagine how torn up I was last year when shit hit the fan. To realise now that I can move on without that lingering in the back of my head is a very comforting thought.
Small victories over my unfortunately nostalgic and romantic brain. People think being a romantic is an admirable trait, they don’t realise that along with all the wonderful things you can make connections to and find enjoyment in such as holding hands or being able to remember what your partner was wearing the first time you met, there are also the negative connections that you simply can’t shake such as not being able to listen to certain songs or visit certain places; even after you’ve ‘moved on’.
I am stupidly romantic too. Damn it.